


I Didn't Mean To

by Mysterie



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Control, half demon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3622461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterie/pseuds/Mysterie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things that saying "sorry" for isn't good enough... So what will Kagome do when she's faced with it? Can she forgive Inuyasha?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_I didn't mean to do it. I don't know what came over me. To think of it now makes me shudder. How could I? I never thought it would go so far... I thought things were alright... I thought things between us were... No, nevermind what I thought there. It doesn't matter now. I can't stand to look at her. To think about what I've done. I never meant to hurt her. It's been two weeks, I haven't seen her. I haven't seen anyone. I can't face her... or them. What did she tell them? What would they say to learning about what happened that night? I don't want to think about it... to wonder if they will hate me... To imagine the rage and disgust that they will aim at me. If I could just take it back... I only meant to tell her how I felt. That's how it started... So innocent on a full moon's night... Then, it happened... I cannot erase the memory from my mind nor the scent of blood from my claws. I can still hear the screams... I remember it, even though I wasn't in control... and I only wish, of all things, that I could forget._  
  
  
_How can I ever face my friends again? Sango... How can I face the anger and hate she must feel towards me now._  
  
_Miroku... even that amorous monk never did anything like this despite being perverted..._  
  
_Shippo... will she even tell the young kit? No... he's too young to know... to understand what happened._  
  
_Kagome.... Kagome... I can't forget it... I wish I could... I honestly do.... What have I done? What have I done..._


	2. Chapter 2

Kagome stood in front of the Sacred Tree. A gentle breeze tugged at her hair. It had been two weeks since she'd seen Inuyasha; since that night... She tried not to think about it too much. After all, it wasn't his fault really. It couldn't be helped. She shook away the thoughts. She refused to blame him, to think ill of what happened in the cave that was several miles from where she stood.   
  
"Do you think I should talk with her?" Miroku asked Sango quietly, she stood next to him with Shippo and Kirara at their feet.  
  
"No, I think I will. After all, I don't think this is something she can tell you or just anyone. I mean... something happened that night. I don't know what, but if she's going to tell anyone it might be me." Sango replied in a hushed voice. Sango went over to where Kagome was standing and gently put a hand on her shoulder. Kagome turned to look at her friend.  
  
"Kagome... I know... something happened that night. Do you want to talk about it?" Kagome stared at Sango a moment, looking as if she were about to say something, but she only gave her friend a sad sort of smile and shook her head.    
  
"Don't worry about it Sango. Nothing bad happened. After all, Inuyasha was with me." Sango merely nodded and walked back over to Shippo and Miroku giving them a helpless shrug. Kagome didn't want to tell her. There was nothing they could do, but even as they left her alone, they didn't know that there was someone who did know... Someone who had helped Kagome that night...   
  
*flashback*  
  
  
"Kaede... I need you to help me patch up some bruises I have."  
  
"Of course child." Kaede gathered her herbs as Kagome slipped out of her clothes to reveal the bruises that were just starting to form and a couple cuts she had. When the old woman turned to look at the wounds she nearly dropped the bowl in shock.  
  
"Kagome... these wounds... they aren't... You didn't get them in battle did ye?"  
  
"No... I didn't. Please, Kaede, don't tell anyone about this."   
  
"Why child? Do they not have a right to know? Does Inuya-" She stopped when she saw the look in the young girl's eyes.  
  
"I see. Very well, I will not tell them. Ye should tell them of this though; even if you do not tell them who is responsible." Kagome had only shook her head. If they knew what had happened... how it had happened... they'd never forgive Inuyasha and she didn't want them to hate him for what he'd done. For what he couldn't help but do.    
  
*end flashback*  
  
  
"Inuyasha.... where are you?" Kagome asked silently to an empty forest before she turned from the Sacred Tree and headed for the well. No one but Kaede knew about that night. Even Kaede didn't have all the details. Kagome felt... well, she wasn't sure how she felt about it, but some small part of her didn't regret what had happened and she didn't hold it against Inuyasha. That much she was certain. She wanted to wait until he returned, but she'd a feeling that the longer she stayed the longer he would stay away. She had a test coming up as it was anyway; even so, she doubt she'd be able to study. All of this went through her mind as she leapt into the well, unaware that Inuyasha stood several feet away in the top of the tree; just close enough to see her small figure vanish towards the well that would take her home.


	3. Chapter 3

Day after day passed in the modern day. Kagome strived to forget what had happened. To forget Inuyasha, but not matter what she did she just couldn't and even a few outtings with Hojo had only served to remind her of his bumbling ancestor she had met and befriended, rather then helping her to forget. The more she strived to, the worse it was. Her grandfather and brother pestered her with questions at times and at others were as quiet as Miroku and Sango had been before she'd left. Each day, living without seeing Inuyasha, was getting more and more painful. She knew, even despite what had happened, she had to see him... if just one more time.  
  
  
Meanwhile in the Feudal Era....  
  
  
Inuyasha sat at the edge of the well. He paced when he wasn't perched on the edge. He wanted to see Kagome. The desire to see her... to make things right... it was just too great for him to stay away from the well. He walked around the well again; as he'd done millions of times since she'd disappeared.   
  
"Why don't you go after her?" Inuyasha whirled around to see Miroku standing with his staff in one hand. The hanyou hadn't heard him because he'd been too deep in his own thoughts.  
  
"I can't... I..." Inuyasha trailed off, not looking his friend in the eye. He hadn't spoken to them since he'd returned etiher and none of them had questioned where he'd been.  
  
"If it's about Kikyo -" Miroku began.  
  
"No, it's not that." Inuyasha said, cutting him off quickly.  
  
"Inuyasha... we know something happened when you and Kagome got seperated from us during the attack of the horde of demons. What happened?" Inuyasha was quiet for a long time and just as the monk was about to go, Inuyasha began to speak. His voice was quiet and filled with shame. Something Miroku had never heard in the hanyou's voice before and so, he stayed to listen.  
  
"It wasn't supposed to happen...." Inuyasha began.  
  
  
~~~~~~~ Several Weeks ago ~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Demons swarmed everywhere. There seemed to be no end in sight. Kagome had shot arrows until she was out. Inuyasha was cutting down demon after demon, but he was tiring and Miroku was sucking in demons as Sango and Kirara panted from having taken down several dozen on thier own. Miroku suddenly closed his wind tunnel, there was only one demon left. An humaniod like demon that leapt away from Inuyasha's blow, snatched up Kagome, who was nearby. Inuyasha stumbled, tired from his exertion, even as Kagome let out a scream.  
  
"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled even as the demon took off with her. Sheathing the blade, he ran after the demon. Miroku and Sango collapsed where they were; Kirara whinned as she settled down. They were too tired to speak, but they all wished Inuyasha luck as he went after Kagome.


	4. Chapter 4

The rain poured, drenching everything, lightening flashing as Inuyasha appeared before the demon that had made off with Kagome; cutting off its path.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~ 

  
She'd never been sure how he'd gotten ahead of them, but he had and the demon had set her down to do battle with Inuyasha over her. Kagome lay on her bed now, her eyes on the ceiling as her mind played over the memory of that fateful night...   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inuyasha stared down the demon; he didn't waste any time talking as he drew the Tetsusiaga. Lightening bounced off the blade. Neither Inuyasha nor the demon seemed to notice the rain as they charged towards each other. Kagome watched as the two clashed time and time again; the demon's claws clashing with the Tetsusiaga. Inuyasha tried time and again to set loose the Wind Scar, but the humaniod demon kept too close to Kagome for him to without running the risk of hitting her as well. Kagome let out an involunteery gasp as the demon sent Tetsusiaga flying from Inuyasha's grasp.  
  
 _Oh no! The Tetsusiaga!_  She knew that, even as the sword embedded in a tree behind them, without the sword, Inuyasha risked transforming. As the fight continued, Inuyasha tried to retrieve his sword, but the demon cut him off each time and drove him back. Kagome went over to the tree to try and reach the sword, but it had landed too high for her to reach it and there was no branch close enough for her to try and clilmb the tree to retrieve the sword. Kagome could only turn to watch as the humanoid's claws cut into Inuyasha when they clashed once more; small cuts were on his arms and face, but there was a large gash in one leg. Inuyasha was losing blood fast.   
  
"You never should have challenged me for the woman you filthy half breed!" The demon snarled, barely registering the fact that the rain had stopped. At that moment a single bolt of lightening struck behind Inuyasha, blinding the demon and Kagome momentarily. Even though she couldn't see, Kagome could sense the change beginning to take place. The demon blinked away the blinding light, suddenly caught off guard at the change in Inuyasha's scent as it reached him. A sudden fear gripped the demon who was unprepared for the change.  
  
"Filthy vermin." Venom dripped in Inuyasha's tone as he spoke.  
  
"She's mine!" Inuyasha growled as he leapt at the demon; he sliced it into pieces before the demon could even think to react. Kagome watched Inuyasha, fearing for him and herself as she beheld the transformed Inuyasha; the jagged purple stripes beneath the red eyes that stared at the vanquished demon only to suddenly lift to her.   
  
"Inu... yasha?" Kagome asked tentively. She wasn't sure what to do or say. Last time he had fought with his inner demon only a kiss had saved him from the transformation. Did she dare get close enough to try? Her heart pounded in her chest. Before she could decide what to do, Inuyasha had closed the distance between them and had picked her up; sprinting off deeper into the forest. Kagome was too shocked to say anything, only relieved that he'd not tried to attack her. The cavern Inuyasha set Kagome down in was only a few feet from the battle field where the demon had met his end. Kagome inched away from Inuyasha as soon as he set her on her feet. He seemed to be warring with himself; she slowly backed up only to discover that the cavern wasn't that deep. She'd found the end of it and was still only a couple feet from Inuyasha. As she watched him, Inuyasha seemed to stop the inner battle as he sniffed the air. It took her a few minutes to realize what it was he smelled as a new look came into the red eyes; one that wasn't a ravenous killing look.   
  
"Inu-" She didn't get much further as he'd pinned her to the wall with his body as he silenced her with a shearing kiss. After that the rest of the world had seemed to vanish; leaving just the two of them, one driven by demonic instinct of self-preservation.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
 _I guess the reason, the real reason, I don't blame him is because I could have said "sit" when I saw the look in his eyes. I could have stopped him before he kissed me. I didn't though. I didn't try to._  Kagome sat up and looked out her window, staring at the Sacred Tree and wishing that he would come for her. Wishing he would though she knew he probably never would again. She'd never known what had brought him out of the trance, but she'd seen the shock in his eyes when he'd realized what had happened... what he'd done. He'd taken off then before she could say even one word; long before she could explain that she'd known his intentions before he'd kissed her, before he'd laid his hands on her, before she'd come to understand the meaning of what Americans said was pleasure so intense that it bordered pain. She hadn't seen him since that night and it was Sango who'd found her in the forest while searching for her and Inuyasha.  
  
 _I can't take this anymore!_  Kagome thought suddenly and vaulted off the bed in one bound.   
  
 _I have to see him. Even if it means I have to "sit" him until I find him!_  Kagome thought and wasted no time in shoving clothes into her backpack along with the few shards they still had. She sprinted into the kitchen and shoved in several things to eat before heading to the well; the only thing she left behind were her school books. She leapt into the well, barely feeling the weight of the backpack on her shoulders. Her eyes hard with her determination to find Inuyasha and speak with him as she traveled back through time to the Feudal Era.


	5. Chapter 5

Inuyasha's eyes were almost fully closed as he leaned against the well. He was bored out of his mind and he hadn't slept that much the night before since it had been the night of the new moon; he wasn't so much as tired as he was bored though. Every day he came to the well, knowing he'd never go in to get her, but he couldn't stop himself. He was compelled to return time and again in case she ever came back; he didn't expect her to and guilt followed him like a shadow, but he knew he had to stay close... just in case. After all, what was the point of searching for the jewel shards that Naraku and Koga still had without Kagome? What was the point in becoming stronger? Try as he might, he couldn't lie to himself; he didn't want to be stronger just to be able to defend himself, but so he could protect Kagome. When his reasons had altered he wasn't quite sure, but it had happened; all because of her and now because of him, she might never speak to him again. Might never come back to complete the jewel. Inuyasha leapt to his feet as her familiar scent drifted towards him from the well.   
  
_Could it be...? Am I not just dreaming?_  He wondered as he watched a hand appeared on the side of the well before Kagome hauled herself up and over the side. She set down the bulging backpack and, for once, Inuyasha didn't care what was inside it as he stared at Kagome in disbelief. She'd come back; she'd really come back. It was all he could think at that moment as he felt a feeling overcome him suddenly; it was like drinking water after a drought, quenching an imense thirst he never really had known he'd had.  
  
"Kagome." It was all he could say; his guilt was evident in his eyes and tone.  
  
Kagome turned at the sound of her name on his lips and forgot the bag she'd brought; why she'd brought it. She'd planned what to say to him as she'd packed, but as her eyes met his all of the thoughts of what she'd meant to say only slipped away like grains of sand. Time seemed to stand still; nothing else mattered just then. She had assumed she'd have to chase him down; yet, he'd been here, by the well. How long had he been here? Had he been just about to leap into the well to go after her? So many questions, but she didn't ask him. After what seemed like forever, Kagome did the last thing he expected her to do. She closed the distance between them and flung her arms around him; holding him close to her. Inuyasha only hesitated a moment before he wrapped his arms around her. He closed his eyes as relief washed over him and he drank in her scent. It chased away a fear he hadn't thought was there. The fear that she would change; that she would never reach for him ever again. Even as he held her close, flashes of memory of what had happened went through his mind. He remembered some of it, and before he'd returned to normal he knew he'd held her close like this before.   
  
He also knew what had snapped him out of the hold his demonic blood had on him. The smell and taste of Kagome's blood. For demons who were intelligent enough, to mark someone without their consent.... to take them as a mate... it was beyond shame and dishonor. Inuyasha was the first to let go, but Kagome was the first to speak.  
  
"I need to talk to you Inuyasha. About what happened."  
  
"I'm... sorry. More than that. It never should have happened... not like that."   
  
"But it did, and I'm not sorry for it."  


 

"I had no ri-" Inuyasha stopped mid-sentence as Kagome's words sank in.  
  
"You mean... I mean... you could have stopped it from happening. Stopped me from.... taking that from you. Why Kagome? Why didn't you?" There was a brief moment of silence as Kagome gathered the courage to tell him what she'd only thought of telling him so many times before.  
  
"I let you because I... I love you." She said, her voice wavered slightly from her nerves, not knowing what his reaction would be. She hurriedly continued on, afraid of what he might say or do.  
  
"I want to be with you, always, no matter what that might mean." She paused to gather her thoughts and Inuyasha took that time to speak before she continued on.  
  
"Kagome... you can't imagine how much I've longed to hear that." He gently cupped her face in his hands.  
  
"I love you Kagome. I want to be with you, to be your mate... if you'll have me." His lips were warm and gentle on her own; a contrast to the hard kiss full of lust she'd experienced in the cave. Still, she loved him as he was. She kissed him back, giving him his answer. It was that, her acceptance, he knew, that made her different from Kikyo. He knew that, if need be, he would become human if it meant being with Kagome. He had only been willing to make that sacrifice once before; for her, he would do it. Inuyasha withdrew, but immediately reached for one of her hands even as he hefted her bag with the other; a hint of his usual self showing through as he realized how heavy the bag was.  
  
"Geez Kagome, what did you pack in here? Rocks?" Kagome laughed. She knew he'd act different around the others then he was now, but she also knew that things would be a bit different for them; in a good way. Maybe some day she'd tell the others about the bite mark that was hidden beneath her hair.   
  
_For now_ , she thought as she smiled at him as they headed for the small village that would one day become Tokyo,  _it will be our little secret._


End file.
